So I'm sitting at work anxious about going to get my key to and sign away my life for my new place today. The hook to one of Kanye's song repeatedly plays in my head "it's so ammmaazzing, so ammmazzzing!!!" because it really is. Who would have ever thought I would feel this way?!!!
Since 2005 I've consistently lived in my own place covering rent, utilities, and other amenities on my own. I had roommates for a few years so the cost was cheaper, but for the last 2 years I've been in a one bedroom apartment carrying the load alone and I've never once thought to myself "This is to expensive." or "Can you really afford this?" and I've also never gone without. So, it worked and I had no reservations-EVER. In fact, I was HAPPY!!! I happy and doing well.
Then life completely turned upside down in May of this year. The uncertain economy somewhat forced me out of my apartment (never mind that I willing gave it up to pursue a new start) and temporarily into a friend's house. I thought I would be relocating in to a new city, but God saw other wise and it's just into a new apartment. But this apartment IS a new place and this transition feels just as foreign as moving to a new city would. There's so much uncertainty, anxiety, and a residual of fear. But also a lot of excitement, possibility and a fresh feel of life anew. This journey is SO AMAZING in it's own way. Mentally I know on the surface, this is "just another apartment" but in my heart I know that this is the beginning of a new life. HUM!
~ARN
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